Check Offs

I had a check-off this afternoon. A check-off just entails the nursing instructors checking us off on the skills we have learned and should be preforming in the clinical setting. This is a lot tougher than it sounds. We get two "cues", or mess-ups before we fail a check off. Today was a little bit different than normal. We had about 6 skills that we could possibly be checked off on and had no idea which one we were going to get until they called our name to go into the room. They are very picky about following every step just how it is on our sheet and doing it the "Santa Fe way" not the half-assed way the nurses teach us to do it in the hospitals. Check-offs make everyone nervous! Sweaty hands, butterflies in your stomach, and sometimes a bit shaky. When they called my name today, I was kind of nervous because I didn't come early to practice in the lab. I ended up getting the easiest of the skills to check off on. I also got the easiest instructor that was doing the checking off. It was easy breezy. One less thing to worry about this week. NPR- CHECK, Skills check-off- CHECK.. Now all I have to do is pass my Renal Exam this Wednesday!

FACE PLANT

As the last blog was rather disgusting and graphic and has you never thinking of the frosted delicious cereal the same way, I shall share this story with you as a picker-upper. Coming from the family that I do, I don't often experience embarrassing stories. I was taught at a young age to laugh it off with everyone else. Well my clinical group LOVES to point out embarrassing things that I do and say. It doesn't bother me a bit, but I thought I'd share a few of the things that they bring up often, starting with the least embarrassing.
One of my first weeks of clinical this semester I had a patient who seemed kind of down in the dumps. I knew he was the type of patient that was a jokester with all of the sarcastic remarks he made. He called me into his room for the most ridiculous of things, just because he could (ie. scratch his back). One time he called me in just to ask me, "So, what is it that you do anyway?"..my response "Well, I do all of the things a nurse would do." (sounds good so far). "Well, what's that?" "Oh, you know, I give medications, I take vitals, I do assessments.." still not enough for him so I continued..here it comes..WORD VOMIT "I wipe butts." I got a smile from him which is what I was looking for, but I had forgotten about the other patients in the room and the other nursing students. Everyone outside the curtain was laughing at our conversation. I wasn't too concerned about them until I heard a voice from outside the curtain say, "AND.." This voice was my clinical instructor... SO I then continued on "and I, uh, chart andI .." so on and so on. I kept listing bc I got nervous about my instructer hearing me. My friends bring that up often. But not as often as this...
Back in the first semester of nursing school I was still nervous and trying to fit in. I was just starting to make friends and feel somewhat comfortable with the demands of the program. A few of my friends and I went to subway in the school cafeteria after class. We only had a short time to eat because we had a lab we had to go to. So after the group picking on me because I am quite the target for a good joke, we were getting ready to finish up and head back to the nursing building. I decided I was going to go back inside to refill my drink and everyone else said they'd meet me around the corner from the picnic tables. So.. I go in, fill my drink and walk out the front door of the cafeteria. Here I see the group kind of leaving me. I got a bit excited and tried to walk faster. Not watching where I was walking (because I was watching the group) I stepped off the pavement where this little palm tree is and face planted to the ground! My cookie in one hand flew out of it's package and into the dirt. The cup in the other hand was crushed when I tried to break my fall. My backpack is flipped over my head and I am in complete shock over what had just happened. I looked around to notice there was a large group of people standing by the wall just looking at me and laughing hysterically. I thought quickly and grabbed my ankle (even though it wasn't hurt) and started cursing like a sailor! If I was hurt, it would make them feel bad, and be less embarrassing for me. I look up again and see one of the guys with his hand out towards me. I reached for it for help to get up and he pulled it back. It was then that I realized that he was only POINTING at me not trying to help me. I am even more embarrassed at this point, really flustered and still fumbling to get up (backpack still flipped over my head). Got up and limped away(bc of my fake injury) seeing my friends in the far distance and still hearing the roaring laughter from the crowd of people. Out of the roar, I heard one girl strugglig to say (because she was still laughing so hard) as I was walking away, "Are you ok?". I tried to respond but all I could do at this point was lift up my hand to her, attempt to smile, and just cry. I finally caught up to the group of nursing students. They found me covered in dirt, with skinned knees and hands, a bright cherry red face with tears rolling down my cheeks, and with out my drink refill. I told them the story because they were all concerned (for a whole 5 min) and then we joked about it as we went into lab. Many people had asked what was wrong because I still was puffy and red from crying and still had bloody knees. I was still pretty embarrassed for about a week afterwards. Then I got over it and photoshoped a picture of me falling and sent it to my group of friends. From then, I've been the butt of most jokes.

Frosted Flakes for breakfast

THIS BLOG CONTAINS GRAPHIC IMAGERY, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

A few of my friends in clinical and I were sitting around the table during our dinner break comparing gross or ridiculous stories. Each story trying to top the one before it. I knew that no one could top my story. I have yet to have a patient top this one. About 8 months ago I was working on a pediatric unit. We had a 14 yr old girl who was well known to the staff, someone we'd refer to as a "frequent flyer". She was admitted to the hospital for a chronic condition she has because she needed treatment. However, this girl had more going on that just this chronic condition. She had a very bad yeast infection. The nurse was very concerned because this was the most advanced form of a yeast infection she had ever seen. She went in to do her assessment and check on the status of this infection. She noticed while doing her examination that the yeast had spread up from between her legs, towards her abdomen. The skin was flakey, red, foul smelling and just not pretty to look at. The nurse continued to do a thurough examination of her skin when the girl reached down between her legs and started to peel off a large quarter size chunk of her skin. Right before the nurse was about to tell the girl that picking at it could be causing it to get worse, the girl took the large, crusty, infected flake of skin and put it in her mouth and swallowed it. The nurse completely disgusted was in shock and could not say anything. She looked at the girl and then at her mother who was at the bedside, neither said a word. The nurse stood up and walked out to share this story with me and another nurse so that she was not alone in feeling the way she did. So at the time, this was by far the most horrible thing I had ever experienced and I was not actually IN the room.
After leaving work that day I went to my friend Stefanie's house who is also a nurse. I had to share with her what had happened just as I have told you. We then began to joke about it. I can tell you this, I am not sure that I can ever eat Frosted Flakes ever again.

I was hessitant about sharing this story with you, but tonight one of the girls at clinical came to me and told me that she's been eating frosted flakes for breakfast every day this week. Every morning she pours a bowl she can't help but laugh, be grossed out for a second, and think about the insane things that happen in the walls of a hospital! She told me this was a must blog, so this is for you Delores! Hope I didn't scare anyone away! It is my hope that I don't have any more disgusting things happen like this.

Butt burps

I promise that this whole blog will not be all about butts. Let me just start off by telling you this brief story before I lead into my story from clinical....I have been babysitting for a family from my old church for about 7 years that has two boys and a little girl. For some reason either one of the parents had decided they did not like it when their kids used the word fart, so instead, to this day, they call it a butt-burp...that being said I will now tell you about my patient from clinical and come back to this above story.
So I was at clinical one evening assigned to a patient with a fresh colostomy. He was only 2 days post op and was not wanting to do much of anything. Being the great nursing facility that it is, we were not going to let him not do anything but just lay there because that delays healing, so we convinced him that he was going to walk around in the halls. It took 2 nurses and myself to get this man out of bed. The two nurses assisted him from each side and I stood in front of him for extra safety precautions. 1 2 3- and he's up in a standing position facing me. On the journey up he let's out a LONG, LOUD, EXPLOSIVELY STRONG belch, in my face none the less. That alone was rather disturbing to me, but that's not all. When I say explosively strong I mean it vibrated his cheeks and the gust of wind was so strong that it blew my hair out of my face. Patients with fresh colostomies are prone to experiencing a lot of gas. This man however, could not expell gas from the rear as most of us do, but the gas that was dwelling in his intestines had to be forced back up and out. So like I was saying, this belch was explosively strong. I had never smelled something so aweful come from someone's mouth. It ranked like S***!! I tried to contain myself the best I could and not make a face at this bomb that went off in my face, when the patient asked me (while still in the middle of the belch) "Is this normal?". In my mind the only thing I was thinking was, "HELL NO! IT IS NOT NORMAL TO FART OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!" but being the skilled professional that I am and having the best effective communication training, I smiled at the patient and assured him that it was normal to be experiencing gas because his bowels were waking up from the surgery. So I ask you this, (who ever could possibly be reading) if a butt can burp what do you call it when you fart out of your mouth?

The rantings of a nursing student...

Let me first off start by saying.. I NEVER INTENDED ON EVER BEING A BLOGGER! I have always been a fan of reading my friend Aly's blog. Her stories and random posts are addicting and are something I look forward to reading. I never thought I'd have anything too interesting to post. I then found out very recently that my friend Val has a blog as well. Very quickly I was addicted to her blog, starting from her first post I read all of her posts in one sitting. Then it came to me! I can share my sick nasty stories (w/o violating hippa of course) from work!!! There isn't a day that I come home from work and am not grossed out by one thing or another that happened at work/clinical. So here begins the rantings of a nursing student and her experiences in the ne professional world of BUTT WIPING!