Can I be yo' baby Mamma!?

My friend Tammy and I were walking around Walmart last night around 3 am only to remember just how great late night walmart runs are! As we were walking around and playing in the toy aisles we were discussing the name my friend chose for her new baby girl- Lucy Mathew Eden Cruse. Tammy and I weren't making fun of the baby's name per say but we were sad because she's going to get an ear full from her friends when she's older. As we were talking, a woman from behind a Christmas tree (a walmart worker putting out more decorations on the shelves) jumps out to contribute to our conversation. "Oh, YOU think that's bad?! Well, giiirl, let me tell you. I gots this friend from high school, yeah, and I went to her baby shower and I had axed her 'What are you gonna name your baby?'. Do you KNOW what she told me?! She done gone named her baby Marijuana Cocaine Johnson. And yo' ears ain't broke. She named her baby girl Marijuana Cocaine! I axed her why she was gonna name her baby that and she told me it's what she loves the most and she loves her baby too." Tammy and I looked at each other and agreed that Matthew wasn't all that bad. We tried to continue our 3am shopping when the woman continued.. "But that ain't the worse! My nephew by 2nd husband has a baby. He done gone named his baby girl Tarantula. He named his child after an inseck! So support your friend for her name choice cuz it ain't that bad." I think I might have peed my pants a little at this point. The lady herself was cracking me and Tammy up, but the way she just kept shaking her head and saying Tarantula under her breath just got me.