Leaving the Loony Bin

So it only makes sense that our neurosurgery/neurology (brain/back surgery and stroke) patients might be a little loony sometimes. Anything goes wrong with your brain and things start to get a little bit coo-key. Remember that one patient I mentioned a while back who somehow had a bag of marijuana smuggled into the hospital and he hid it in the sugar drawer at the coffee station? Well, HEEEE'S BACK. Last time he was admitted he was one of the most inappropriate patients I had ever had-trying to cop a feel when I'd lean over to listen to his heart and lungs with my stethoscope. Last night he tried to hug me at least 3 times and asked me out 4x which is a lot less than his last admission. Oy vey! Tonight is my last night as a floor nurse. Starting monday I become an ICU nurse. How weird/cool is that!?

Ventriloquist Evangelism

A of week ago I was driving down 34th street and turning onto Archer Road when I saw this strange figure between the cars on the median in the middle of the road. I drove up closer and stopped at the light to turn left and there he was- A man with a sign condemning everyone to hell if you don't turn and repent now! on his back, an umbrella hat, and to make things just a little more interesting a ventriloquist doll proclaiming the gospel. Growing up in church, I had always seen puppets being used to teach Sunday school lessons and help children relate to bible passages somehow through furry hand socks, but I had never even thought I'd see the day where I could be evangelized via drive by. I wish I had also gotten a picture of his RV that was covered in print just like the sign on his back. It was quite a story to tell people the day I saw this man, but when I was leaving work the other morning I saw him again! This time he saw me pull out my iphone to take his picture and he started walking towards my car. I hope this ventriloquist evangelism picks up across the world!! He's obviously getting the attention from distracted drivers like me.

The News

There has been a lot going on in the life of Kathy in the last few months. But before starting with my news, I wanted to briefly talk about what's been going on in the national news.

Most people have heard about the crazy pastor in Gainesville who is talking about burning Qurans with his tiny cult-church. 9 years ago on sept 11, I was a freshman in high school watching the twin towers be struck by the second airplane while I was in the cafeteria eating lunch. Everyone was so concerned about the terrorist attacks

, but I was convinced that it was not very likely that the Taliban would blow up my hometown of Gainesville. There was never any reason for the Taliban or any Muslim extremist to even know where Gainesville was on a map, UNTIL NOW! This crazy extremist who calls himself a follower of Christ, Pastor Terry Jones, has now put Gainesville on the rad

ar and made my life HELL. Its all the talk around Gainesville and the hospital because we have been put on high alert and have been made aware that if something were to happen all hospital staff will be "on call". My anxiety level has been sky high.

Nuff about that, lets get on to the more important news. Just to update those across the country who might read this blog who I haven't spoken with in a while, much has changed in the last few months as far as my home, my roommate, and now my job! I have 3 more shifts on the burn/plastics/neuro floor before I move on over to the pediatric intensive care unit on Monday the 19th. This is what my heart has always wanted and d

reamed of. I applied to the Burn ICU and was almost certain I was going to get the job. Well, to my surprise I didn't! Thank God though, or I would have missed out on the amazing opportunity to be a peds nurse. My new home and roomate(s) are great. I have never lived with a stranger before. Well she wasn't quite a stranger, more like a friend of a friend who was practic

ally a stranger because we had only spent about a total of 3 hours together. I had no idea what to expect. I was excited because there were no expectations. If she was a sloppy mess who never spoke to me and just inhabited the same apartment and paid her rent then I could find a way to deal. Turns out she and our other roommate (her small chihu

ahua Molly) have become not only co-inhabitants of a living area, but I'm rather fond of the both of them as well. I mean, who wouldn't love a Cuban with a Mexican dog, who is funny, pretty, makes banging awesome dinners, and keeps things interesting around the house? Props to Christina Palau. I will leave you with a few pictures of my new apartment that I LOVE! Props to Aly Kee for helping me pick out an awesome comforter set for my bed!

Nurses Week

This past week is nurses week. Most hospitals celebrate their nurses by throwing them big lunch-ins or something, or maybe give a silly goody bag full of candy. I'm very disappointed. Maybe it's because I work night shift and we always get the leftovers, but we didn't get anything for nurses week this year.
I did develop a new appreciation for nurses and zofran. I went into work last night feeling horrible. Around 5:30 pm a sudden mess of yuck came over me. I had a horrible headache that turned quickly to migraine. Nausea was soon to follow, with dizziness and the feeling of being light headed was right behind it. I got out of my car and made it to the elevator praying I would not pass out in the elevator. My entire body was shaking so badly. I ran into two of my middle school teachers Mrs. Bracco and Mr. Bailey in the elevator (apparently they are married now-weird). It was hard to make small talk when I felt so horrible but it helped me not concentrate on how horrible I felt. I clocked in and managed to make it to the nurses station where the nurse passing off to me noticed I was NOT right. I could feel the color leave my face and was ready to fall out. I stuck out 4 hours of the shift waiting for someone to come in to replace me, but as soon as I had relief I walked myself (scared I'd pass out in the tunnel underground and no one would find me for hours) to the ER on the other side of the street. They took me back right away to check my vitals. They were ALL normal. Then they checked my heart. NORMAL. Put in an IV and took some blood to run some labs. Everything NORMAL. There was no known reason for the way I was feeling. They gave me a liter of IV fluid and some zofran and I perked right up. I felt like such a wimpy kid and no doubt I was a horrible patient. Thanks Alex and Christina for being my nurses last night!

I NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!

There is nothing like your first emergent situation in a hospital. I got floated to a different floor two weeks ago because I was the only one on my floor at the time that had enough experience to float (SCARY). Because there was debate as to whether or not I would have to float to another floor or not, I was late taking report from the next nurse. I got out of report at 8pm. I like to first check on my patients the first thing out of report- to make sure they're still alive when I get them ;) . I started down the hall with my first patient and worked my way up the hall. At 8:10 I got to the 2nd patient and heard from two doors down a little voice screaming for help to get her husband off the pot. The nurses station called for a PCA (nurses assisstant) to the room, but I sensed a little bit of panic in this little old lady's voice so I rushed in there to find that the man was having all sorts of symptoms of a stroke! STROKE!! AHHH! What do I do!? Adrenaline kicked in and my hands were shaking so bad I felt like a parkinsons patient. I am used to stroke patients- AFTER they stroke. Within seconds I had help of another nurse and activated a stroke alert which is kind of like activating a code blue for those of you non medical people that need a visual. It just means a Dr and many other skilled professionals rush to the scene within minutes. I did all of the right things, thank GOD, but it was very scary. It took me about two hours to catch up on everything else I needed to get done that night and for my adrenaline to calm down.

As I was sharing this experience with another nurse, she had a story of her own to tell me. As a new nurse you are always scared of your first emergent situation. This nurse had a patient come to the floor and upon seeing him for the first time, he was complaing of chest pain. Instead of being rational and asking him more about his chestpain and ordering an EKG (checks your heart rhythms) and notifying the physician she couldn't think. She was afraid that this man was having a heart attack and everything she learned in nursing school had gone out the window. She screamed down the hall, "I NEED HELP IN HERE! I'M CALLING 911!". The nurses who ran in the room to help her hung up the phone and calmed her down. "Why are you calling 911? We ARE 911!"
I hear this and can't help but to laugh! Luckily that patient wasn't going into cardiac arrest and was just having a panic attack.

Potty Dance

Have you ever seen those ridiculous Pull-Ups commercials where they sing the Potty Dance song in so many different genres. There is the rap version. There is the middle aged man trying to rock out. What happened to the old commercials like this one? OK you might be wondering why I have you watching all of these pull-up videos. I wonder sometimes how much easier it would be to just pee in your underpants, then change them when they get too droopy. I've thought about this a lot due to the amount of elderly patients we have in diapers in the hospital. Most nights when I am at work I don't find the time to pee. This is a HUGE problem because it's so unhealthy and can lead to UTI's and kindney infections. Luckily, I haven't had either, but it's probably a matter of time. I saw the potty dance commercial come on the other night while I sat in the break room eating my lunch. I couldn't help but think about it some more. There was once an episode of Grey's Anatomy where Christina Yang and Little Grey were wearing diapers to get more surgeries or longer surgeries which were more complex. By wearing diapers they didn't have to dehydrate themselves or scrub out to pee. It was a pretty funny episode seeing them waddle as they visited patients in rounds. Last night at work, I really wish I were wearing a diaper. It was kind of a busy night. I didn't have time to do much of anything other than chart, pass pain meds, chart, do burn dressings, chart, and so on. I also have had an orientee following me, in which I have had a lot of teaching to do. I found myself doing something that looked a LOT like the potty dance. I found a perfect opportunity to take a break and I B lined it to the bathroom. I apparently had to go so badly that I couldn't wait long enough to even pull down my pants! Between trying to hover over the toilet and pull down my pants- I PEED ALL OVER MYSELF!!! WHO DOES THAT!?? I can't help but laugh at myself about this. Instantly after it happened I thought of only one thing.. I finally have something to blog about!!

My sweet pride and joy

I don't know who really reads my blog anymore, but for those who might have been interested or remembered me mentioning wanting to buy a new car for so long.. the day has finally come! After many days of searching for the right one for me, dealing with pompous and ignorant car salesmen, and finagling my way around getting the best possible deal for me, I found her! Everyone, meet Rhonda! Rhonda is a tango red 2010 Honda CRV. Rhonda and I have already gone to the beach together and have hung out with lots of my friends. Rhonda and I plan on taking many more trips together in the next few months. I can't wait! Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, Orlando, Georgia, North Carolina, and Tennessee!

10-5 This is Kathy.

Recently a lot of the staff at work keep asking me, "You are all talk right? You're not really transferring to a different floor or moving to TN/NC are you?" I think it's so great to feel like I really fit in at work. If I were to be working with my night shift staff all the time without all of the management issues I'd consider staying. Joe, my charge nurse and "mentor" has told me recently that he is going to ask our nursing coordinator if he could train me to charge. This is NOT something I want to do. Yes, I would make more money. Yes, I would learn how to do a lot of new things. But, HECK NO! I don't have the experience it takes to be a charge nurse. To know what to do all the time when one of the nurses working the floor freaks out because they don't know what to do. I had my 6 month evaluation last month and my nursing coordinator did ask me to consider becoming a charge nurse. I declined. However, they have had me orienting new nurses to our floor. This is a scary scary thing. I feel bad for the new nurses I am orienting. They have however, given me quite the confidence boost. I have had a lot of people ask me lately how long I have been a nurse. My response to them is often, "How long do you think I've been a nurse?" Many have said they thought I looked too young to be a nurse, and others have said that I seemed so experienced they thought I had been doing it for 3 to 5 years. YIKES! Who knew I was just that good.. not to mention young looking! I'm kidding btw. I have SOO much to learn.

Would you like some marijuana with your morning coffee?

I haven't really brought you too many interesting stories from work lately, because I tend to forget them by the time I get home. Recently there has been a patient who I shall name George, who has become quite the annoyance. Every once in a while you come across that one patient that just drains you and the rest of the staff. When you come into work and find that you are assigned that patient(again), the first 5 and a half minutes of your shift you sigh and maybe complain a little here and there to whomever will listen to you or just under your breath, then you suck it up and get the job done. George has been with us for a while now, and everyone on staff knows him well. He will at times stop you in the middle of something just to talk to you about nothing. Or make comments about how hott you are and make you feel uncomfortable. But like I said, sometimes you get these guys and you just have to deal. The other night at work we had some issues with George. He had apparently been seen with a joint earlier in the day. There wasn't much we could do because we ourselves did not see the joint. Later that evening, George became agitated. I was forced to take action. I had to get very assertive with a Dr over the phone (with an audience no less) and sedate Mr. George. My night of work became much easier after that. One of George's favorite things to do was make and drink black coffee. He had at least one cup every 30 min. Around 3am, the clerk went over to clean up the nutrition room-where we keep the juice, sandwiches and patient formula and such. When she was cleaning around the coffee pots and restocking the sugar and creams she found a nice little baggy of green leafy substance. It was rather entertaining to all of us. Of ALL places for George to hide his stash, the nutrition room where all patients and staff have access is probably the most ridiculous place to hid it. We phoned security, who weren't really sure what to do with it. They took some pictures of the room and the drawer it was found in along with some names, placed the baggy into another baggy to prevent it from getting anyone else's prints on it. It had me crackin up. Never a dull moment.

Tik Tok

I forgottttt!! We had lots of dance parties at our intern reunion in NC. I didn't participate as much as I enjoyed laughing and watching, but we made a video for our friends who couldn't make it to the reunion. Check it out! Kristi wants to get to 300 or so views! She's getting close and already at 159 views! You might not think its nearly as funny as we do but it's most definitely entertaining. Enjoy! Tik Tok!

Growing pains

First off- I have to wonder who these random china mans are who are making comments on my posts. I don't read chinese and dont know how they have gotten through my privacy settings..

I have been pretty bad at updating my blog. I have had many attempts at it and then get distracted or bored and delete my posts. If I'm bored writing it there is no point in making you bored when reading it.
Lately I have been busy trying to have a social life. I was talking to my friend Jenny in Colorado about being an adult and how much planning goes into practically everything you do. You have to plan your trips to the grocery store, plan meals, plan a time when you can call your friends to make plans to hang out. When it comes to even talking to Jenny there is so much planning that goes into it. We text back and forth (with sometimes hours or days between each text) planning on when we can call each other to catch up on life. I miss my days of being spontaneous.
Work is going ok. I'm growing to love a lot of the people I work with. For the most part this has been a great first real job because I have a lot of time to learn how to be a nurse and not be overwhelmed. But in some ways its nothing I was looking for. I am however, VERY lucky to have a job. When I complain about my job I am often reminded of how my mom has been jobless for a YEAR and many other people who are with out jobs all over the place. The Lord has surely blessed me.
Another part of being grown up that I'm not so fond of is the number of bills that come along with it. I have recently begun to pay back my student loans and have become compeletely independent from my parents. Learning to budget is uch a hard concept for me. I am hoping I will get the hang of it while I am young and single.
I have had some funny stories to post here from incidents at work and with friends but can never remember them when I get home. Here are some pictures from my trip to NC from Christmas break like I said I'd post. We went to the sand dunes in the OBX. I have never seen anything like this in my life. I felt like I was on Mars!

and for new years we went to dinner and watched the ball drop with our bubbly and/or sparkling cider. It was a great way to bring in the new year. I'm not quite sure why that was all underlined and I can't get it to not be. Here are some of the great people I got to hang out with.

no sugar added

I bought some apple sauce with no sugar added to make some banana bread. I didn't end up using all of the apple sauce in the bread so I decided to have some as a midnight snack. I can't say for sure because I'm not sure what my face just looked like with the first bite, but I can imagine it looked a little bit something like this :

Yet I keep eating it!

Work has been rather slow lately...the days I actually go to work that is. I have been called off a lot due to our low census. Our floor hasn't really filled our bed space like they had anticipated. Given, this is a good thing-meaning less sick people but let's get real, the hospital is still a business trying to make money. And I'm a nurse who likes making money :) . As before mentioned, our floor is made up entirely of new graduate nurses like me. I have been asked by one of my superiors to train a new member of our staff come the middle of January. I am not too sure that this is a grand idea due to the fact I am not sure what I have to teach the new guy seeing as I am still new myself. I do enjoy many parts to my job, and there are many parts that I wish change would come about. Don't be surprised if you guys don't see me in Gainesville come 6 months from now.

Tomorrow night I am getting in a car to drive 9 hours to North Carolina to meet a few of my intern buddies from this summer. We are having a little new years get together! It will be great to see their faces again and get to catch up. I love long car trips. Something about them give me peace. I think its all that option of silence and time to think. I'm excited for the get away and for the fun events Stewart has planned! Our new years is going to be a themed party. The attire has yet to be determined. Pictures will be posted upon my return.

Can I be yo' baby Mamma!?

My friend Tammy and I were walking around Walmart last night around 3 am only to remember just how great late night walmart runs are! As we were walking around and playing in the toy aisles we were discussing the name my friend chose for her new baby girl- Lucy Mathew Eden Cruse. Tammy and I weren't making fun of the baby's name per say but we were sad because she's going to get an ear full from her friends when she's older. As we were talking, a woman from behind a Christmas tree (a walmart worker putting out more decorations on the shelves) jumps out to contribute to our conversation. "Oh, YOU think that's bad?! Well, giiirl, let me tell you. I gots this friend from high school, yeah, and I went to her baby shower and I had axed her 'What are you gonna name your baby?'. Do you KNOW what she told me?! She done gone named her baby Marijuana Cocaine Johnson. And yo' ears ain't broke. She named her baby girl Marijuana Cocaine! I axed her why she was gonna name her baby that and she told me it's what she loves the most and she loves her baby too." Tammy and I looked at each other and agreed that Matthew wasn't all that bad. We tried to continue our 3am shopping when the woman continued.. "But that ain't the worse! My nephew by 2nd husband has a baby. He done gone named his baby girl Tarantula. He named his child after an inseck! So support your friend for her name choice cuz it ain't that bad." I think I might have peed my pants a little at this point. The lady herself was cracking me and Tammy up, but the way she just kept shaking her head and saying Tarantula under her breath just got me.

The most rewarding night yet

The last few times I have written about work have all been pretty depressing. I have had even more bummer stories that I spared the few who read this blog. Work is pretty dull lately. A lot of sitting and staring off into space. We have a floor with 24 beds on it. A considerably small floor I suppose. On our unit we have had max 8 patients in the past week. On Thanksgiving night we had 5 patients with 4 RN's and a PCA. We were WAY over staffed! YES, it is fantastic that people aren't sick, burned, and spending their time in the hospital on Thanksgiving. I agree 100%. But it sure makes for a hard 12 hours of work. There is no amount of caffiene that will keep you awake at that point of boredom! Tonight I have a total of 3 patients to care for. This is RARE! Typically I get up to 5 or 6. Instead of spending most of my shift staring at the wall, (usually patients are sleeping) I have had the opportunity to talk to my patients about their lives. You know- the caring part about nursing that really got me into it in the first place. Working night shift is not the most oportune time to build relationships with patients and families. Tonight I discovered one of my patients (who has been a fairly difficult patient in the past) was a nurse in the navy for 27 years! We spoke about her faith and the many places she has traveled. She assumed I was married, when I told her I wasn't, she assumed I at least had kids. She was shocked when I told her I was 23 and with out both. Aparently I am behind. One of my other patients had a rough day yesterday. His wife and daughter were by the bedside and were certain that he was going to die tonight. They had their pastor come in to read him his last rights. After going into his room many times where he had nothing to say to me because he was so tired he finally woke up and felt like talking. This 79 yr old man made me cry! He spoke about the love he has for his wife and daughter. "It's beyond passion, like it was when we were young! We have a mature love for eachother where we are intertwined" is just some of what he said. He spoke about a curse that has been over their entire family. No male has ever lived to see 80. His birthday is in May. Under my breath I tried to break that curse and encourage him that it's just around the corner. There is so much more to say, but not enough time to write it. All in all, I fell in love with this old man tonight. A love that was different. Tonight I was a nurse and it felt good.

Ready for something good to happen.

The last week or so has been real tough at work. Like I said, things have been picking up. Honestly, things aren't anything like what I was trained for or what I expected they would be like. The night nurses don't change dressings for the burn patients. The neuro(back, neck and head) patients are pretty time consuming. The entire month of November I am working with the same group of people. I have quickly made friends at work. I run on coffee. The people I work with enjoy the nights when I drink coffee. They say I'm pretty entertaining and really talkative when I drink it. Two nights ago I came into work with a mess of patients being given to me. I had a TON of stuff to get done in a 3 hour time period. One of my patients was supposed to be transfered to a different floor. It meant that I needed to assess her, give her medications and call report. The 29 yr old had a few issues, but was medically stable when I assessed her. We transported her to her new floor and that was that. I get a call 15 min after transferring her, that the poor woman had flat lined! REALLY?!! Yeah, really. They managed to bring her back, but it just didn't make sense to me. What did I miss? Last night I had a patient (21 yr old male) who was on his call bell all night long. He asked me to give him a sponge bath. He was constantly asking me for things. One time he called me in there telling the clerk he needed me right away. He wanted me to scratch his back/butt (because he was supposed to lie flat in bed and not turn at all). He had a male PCA assigned to his room. He wanted to be "taken care of by a female" because he "enjoys the touch of a female". It was obnoxious! Guess who gave him the sponge bath? NOT ME! The male PCA :). I clocked out at 8am and excitedly rushed to my car to get to bed. When I got to my car it wouldn't start. There was absolutely no power to it. The battery wasn't even 2 years old yet! I had to get it toed to a shop, only to find out it has about 800$ in repairs it needs but i'm only getting about 400$. I suppose I better start looking into new cars. I always wanted a Toyota 4Runner! Just got home at 9:30 and am trying to wind down to go to sleep and prepare for work tonight.

I spoke too soon

I don't know what I was doing complaining that my life was too boring and that work wasn't much of work at all. I have had some days(nights) where I go to work and I have soo much time on my hands I get bored. The last 2 nights however, have been nothing but exciting and full of action...maybe too much action. Normally when a nurse comes on to her shift she will get report from the nurse getting off of her shift. This should take about 30 minutes, give or take. Thursday, my shift began with a very crazy shift change. It took me an hour and a half just to receive report. During report, one of my patients fell in her room, while unattended, and hit her head. Let's put it this way- she shouldn't have been getting out of bed for ANY reason. Her little accident set me back another 30 minutes. Another issue I ran into was when I couldn't find one of the nurses I needed to get report from. I looked around the whole floor, only to find that she had gone home for the night with out telling me anything about my patient!! I called the nurse to see if she could give me report over the phone, but she couldn't and had to drive back to the hospital to inform me about her patient. AHHHHhh! What else could go wrong? Well, let me just tell you! One of my patients (not the one who fell) was a 101 years old. Yes! Born in 1908! This poor, poor woman was trying very hard to die on my shift and I wasn't about to let that happen. She made it through the night. Last night however, I had the same group of patients for the most part and had another very hectic night. This time the lady who fell and hit her head- she started having issues that turned into an emergency. I am very thankful that I have a great staff around me to help me though my stressful moments. That's not all... Oh no. I made my first med error. I felt like a complete idiot! It was sort of a pretty big mess up. Patient turned out to be just fine. I am so thankful I have the weekend off to recover from such a crappy two days of work. I hope its refreshing and not draining.

So I'm a workin' girl

Wow, who knew that working life could be so monotonous and boring. I never thought it would be like this. Get up at eh, 3pm and start slowly getting ready for work. Pack a "lunch" and some snacks. Head to work by 6:30pm. Work until about 7:30ish am, head home, shower and get ready for bed. Sleep from 8:30 til around 3pm and do it all over again. On my days off I do nothing productive or fun because don't have anything I need to do, or anyone I need to see. On top of that, I sleep all day, and most people are at school or work. So my social life has kind of dwindled down to hanging out with the people I live with. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother and I LOVE my Lyndsey! The dog and I have become quite good friends too. I am excited to go to Busch Gardens with a few of my closest friends for my birthday--that I will be celebrating on the 19th instead of my actual birthday-the 26th. I will be working the 26th and 27th and celebrating Thanksgiving with my patients. Another thing I am looking forward to is our intern reunion! It isn't until new years and I am not quite sure if I can take off yet, but I would love to see all of my intern buddies again! Not to mention see snow and go to the beautiful NC!! Well, back to work..and yes, I am blogging on the clock!

Ready or not, here I go!

Not too much to write about these days. My orientation time is coming to an end this Friday. Next week I start working on my own which is a bit nerve racking for me and my patients! It's a going to be a LOT to adjust to next week; new shift (I'll be starting to work night shift 7p-7a), new patient population, all new nurses(new grads, not just new nurses to get used to),and new management to work under. Luckily the floor won't be changing any. The last month of orientation has been good at trying to get used to where things are but I still have to ask tons of questions. Oh, so I don't cry as much as I used to. When I first started out working, I would cry at work, leaving work and thinking about work. I'm still very unsure of myself and decision to be a nurse a LOT of the times, but my confidence level is somewhat on the rise again. I did however get "fired" by a patient on Saturday. She was absolutely ridiculous! Nothing I could do or say could have changed this crazy woman's attitude or ability to not be a complete tool! When she fired me and told me to get out of her room, I set down the stuff I had in my hands, and walked out with a smile and didn't go back in her room for the rest of the shift. Don't worry, she got taken care of, just not by me. It's nuts how much crap nurses get from people. Nurses go into work daily to help people cope, mourn, heal and return to their normal lives. Nurse burn out doesn't come only from the hard long hours and work loads, but rather the difficult patients that make doing our jobs 10x harder than they should be. HA! Sorry I just needed to vent for a minute! I have noticed the last couple weeks, I absolutely LOVE burn nursing. It fascinates me! Who would have thunk it?

Mr Sun, Sun, Mr Golden Sun, please shine down on me!

You would think someone who lives in Florida would not have a problem getting enough sun. There are so many reasons why God created the sun and here are a few reasons why I've grown to appreciate it a lot more lately:

1. The obvious reason-it gives off light. I have typically been a night person almost all my life, but with my crazy new work schedule with long shifts that start before sunrise and end at sunset, I have really been enjoying the daylight when I can get it.

2. The other obvious reason-it gives of heat. I've been looking forward to cooler weather for quite some time now and we have finally gotten a cool (not cold) front come through Gainesville. I love this time of year when I can turn of the AC and open all the windows. It has been down in the 40's and 50's and it is GLORIOUS! Occasionally the wind will get a little gusty and send chills down my spine. So I, like many others, appreciate when the sun is not hiding behind the clouds.

3. The good UVB rays. My new work schedule might be more demanding than I had anticipated, but lately I have been more fatigued than the norm. There have been many moments in which I will just be sitting, standing or talking and can't seem to stay awake. It's like my body slips into this weird comatose state where shaking me violently (what my roommate has had to do) is the only way to keep me awake. Science lesson! UVB rays are soo important because they help your body produce Vitamin D because it can not make it alone. I haven't been getting my minimum of 15 min of sun exposure a day I suppose thus creating my fatigue.

Outside of all of that, work is good. My social life has been booming the past few weeks. Most people think I'm just busy with work, but I've just been plain busy. My roommate is great at keeping entertained. We spent last weekend in New Orleans/Baton Rouge for the LSU game and some fun. This weekend was homecoming and Lyndsey had an extra ticket to Gator Growl so I attended that with her on Friday night with her family, and went to the game against Arkansas with her on Saturday (most intense game I've been at in a while). After the game we hung out with a bunch of her engineering friends. That's when my hand got shut in the door of a Ford Explorer. When I say shut, I mean the door was latched for a good 20 seconds before someone got the message to open it. It could be broken. If it's still throbbing tomorrow after work I might go down to the ER and get it x-rayed. Never a dull moment around this one.

Nervous Newbie

This blog post is simply for my own attempts to self sooth, not necessarily a way of informing those who don't see me often about what goes on in my life these days. Since the very beginning of it all, back when I was a kid and I knew that my calling was to be a nurse. School was hard to get through. Passing my boards was another scary and difficult milestone. Finding a job proved to be troublesome. Finally, here I am again, facing probably the most scary of challenges thus far. Sure, I have a license that I've worked so hard to earn and I don't want to lose it, but it's sooo much more than that. Today was day 5 for me on the Burn Intensive Care Unit (BICU) working as a newbie nurse. You would have thought that day 1 would have been the most horrifying and intimidating day and it would only get better from there. In all actuality, day 2 was harder than day 1, day 3 harder than 2 and so on. Why is this so, you ask? Well, because I am given more and more responsibility as my preceptor backs off more and more. I am expected to know more each day. So many times in the day I ask have conversations in my head that go a little like this, "Have I learned this yet and just forgotten?" or "Ok, Lacey told you this, this and this, wait, what was the first thing again?" It's completely normal to experience nerves as a new nurse. In fact, it is EXPECTED!!! Without some level of anxiety, one must have stopped caring about their job, and mostly the lives of their patients. I have heard that a lot from friends, teachers and Lacey.

Wednesday of last week I was so tired from a combination of never getting sleep and working three 12 hour shifts in a row. I was sitting at the desk with Lacey and Angela the clerk and all of a sudden just started to swell up, get puffy, turn splotchy, and you guessed it...... started crying, well almost. Lacey looked at me and asked in an attentive and caring voice "Are you crying?" Trying my hardest to hold it in, my response was "NO..maybe..I'm not sure." Lacey tried to get me to go take a break in the back and asked if she was pushing me too hard. I eventually sucked it up, told her that if she stopped looking at me with such a concerned look and pretended I was ok than maybe it would go away. It worked for about, eh, a couple hours or so. My anxiety hasn't been this uncontrollable in 2 years. Waking up for work in 5 and a half hours sounds miserable, so I'm going to try to sleep to avoid another breakdown at work. More on this topic later.